top of page

The Complexities of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Controlling Behavior

Updated: Apr 7

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health disorder characterized by a continuous pattern of grandiosity, a relentless need for admiration, and a lack of empathy towards others. Like any mental health condition, NPD is the result of a complex combination of genetic predispositions and environmental factors, such as traumatic experiences. Individuals with NPD often suffer from significant internal conflict, including deep insecurities and emotional disturbances, even though they might appear confident or unaffected on the outside. It's important to acknowledge that people with NPD do not consciously choose to exhibit these behaviors. The actions associated with NPD, though challenging and sometimes resulting in the mistreatment of others—thereby causing genuine and significant distress to affected parties—are expressions of their biological and experiential background. Understanding this does not condone harmful behavior but emphasizes the need for approaching those with NPD with empathy and understanding, as would be appropriate for anyone facing a mental health issue. Moreover, it's crucial to recognize the necessity of enforcing strict personal boundaries or ending relationships with those who behave abusively to protect one's mental health.

Controlling behavior often emerges as a significant aspect of NPD, stemming from the individual's deep-seated needs and insecurities. Here's how the two are related:

Rooted in Insecurity and Need for Superiority

Individuals with NPD often have profound underlying insecurities and a fragile self-esteem. Controlling behavior can be a way to protect their self-image and avoid feelings of vulnerability. By controlling others or situations, they attempt to maintain a sense of superiority and prevent any scenario that might expose their perceived flaws or lead to criticism.

Lack of Empathy

A hallmark of NPD is a lack of empathy, which affects the individual's ability to understand or care about the needs and feelings of others. This lack of empathy can lead to controlling behavior, as the person with NPD prioritizes their own desires and needs over those of others, often manipulating or dictating the actions of those around them to suit their own ends.

Desire for Admiration and Attention

The need for excessive admiration and attention is central to NPD. Controlling behaviors can be a strategy to ensure that those needs are met, by manipulating situations or relationships so that they remain the focus of attention and admiration.

Fear of Dependence

Despite a narcissistic individual's outward appearance of confidence and self-sufficiency, there is often an underlying fear of being dependent on others or being seen as weak. Controlling behavior can be an attempt to avoid scenarios where they might appear vulnerable or in need of help.

Response to Threats to Self-Image

Individuals with NPD are highly sensitive to anything they perceive as a threat to their self-image. They may engage in controlling behavior as a means to mitigate these perceived threats, whether through direct manipulation of people or by attempting to control the narrative about themselves in social or professional circles.

Treatment and Management

Therapy can help an individual with NPD recognize the harmful patterns of their behavior, develop healthier ways of relating to others, and work on the underlying issues of self-esteem and empathy. However, treatment can be challenging as individuals with NPD may not readily acknowledge their difficulties or seek help.

11 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

The Mental Health Benefits of Journaling

Journaling is a personal and reflective practice that has stood the test of time as an effective tool for enhancing mental health. Whether you're scribbling in a notebook or typing on a digital device


bottom of page